Coming on three weeks of homelessness and hunger. The response so far? One offer to sleep in my car (don't have one) for a fee to park it, two offers of prostitution (contingent on photos), and multiple (lost count) responses of I don't believe you, and I'm sure it isn't so bad, and you never know what's around the corner, and I just want you to tell me you're alive (so I don't feel any guilt - it's all about me and really not about you at all. Hey, I asked, didn't I? That's helping - sort of - well, who cares - it's the thought that counts, right?).
The Royal Bank of Scotland commercials get it.
Suicide is the only escape. For real. There is no recovery from homelessness, from black listing, from whistle blowing.
Hope is false. Optimism is delusional.
And suicide hotline that promised anonymity and then called the cops? They can't find us ghosts who don't have an address to trace. Liars.
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